Bleach Boys

Sometimes I wonder what it is like to work as a cashier at a grocery store.  Do they judge the customers on what they buy?  Or, are they so jaded that strange purchases don't even phase them?  If you think about it, shopping can sometimes be very intimate, depending on what you are purchasing.  Sometimes you are buying medications like vagisil or beano (could be embarrassing) or you buy nothing but junk food while your eyes are bloodshot and your reaction time is slow.  What is going through the cashier's head?

To illustrate my point here are two examples:

Once, while I was in college, I went to the cashier with these contents in my basket.

Eggs

Bacon

Condoms

KY warming lubricant

Hmmmmm?  What could this guy be up to?  Condoms, lube and breakfast fixings..?  "Having a lovely lass over for the night, are you?."  Obviously it was not hard to connect the dots on that one.  Usually when I need to buy stuff like that, I like making other purchases to "dilute" the the products in question.  Admittedly, I feel a little bit weird when I go to the store and buy just condoms, or just beano, or just ____ (insert other embarrassing product).  It seems to insinuate a sense of urgency.  I drove all the way to the store just to buy this specific product.  In other words, I plan on using it/them in the immediate future.  

Ok, that one was easy.  Now try this...

Last week I was at the store.  The contents of my cart were (and this is not a joke):

5 gallons of apple juice

5 gallons of clorox bleach

100 blue plastic party cups

A pack of Cold-eeze

Just try and make sense of that one!  If I was the cashier I would contemplate calling the cops out of fear that there would be another Jonestown incident.  Another glass of apple juice sir?

(this was a purchase I made for the laboratory...except the cold-eeze...Those were for me...swine flu...you know?)