Now, I know what you are thinking. "Wait a minute IR, don't you like a few Van Morrison songs like 'moondance', 'wild night' and 'brown eyed girl'?"
Yes this is true, I do enjoy romping around in my underwear to a few of his feel good tunes but Van, the man (not to be confused with his nick-name "Van the Man") is kind of a douche bag. Here is why:
Many of you out there may have heard me drunkenly rant about a performance of his I saw. He played the Pori Jazz Festival in Pori, Finland and I had the pleasure of being in attendance. His style is slightly more jazzy now and he played a lot of what I can only assume is his newer material, but in the last few moments of the show he cranked out some old classics ending it all with "Brown Eyed Girl" (BEG). Now for about 90% of the show the audience remained seated and never let out any more applause than a puttering golf clap. The audience was mostly older people so I never found any of this unusual. When the 1st few notes of BEG chimed in, almost the entire audience got up, started clapping in time and danced their drunken old people dances. Being the mover and shaker that I am, I too ran up to the front and started cutting a rug.
The song ended, the audience erupted in a conflagration of applause and "Van the Man" stormed off stage in what appeared to be a funk. It seemed everyone that I talked to noticed the same "funk" I had. We got into a discussion about it and it was clear that Van had a few sympathizers.
"Yeah, I can see why he is upset. It is a song he released more than 30 years ago and it was the only song he got a response from. All he wants is people to appreciate his new music."
Well my response is this. Van is a lucky, lucky man. Music that he has made has withstood the test of time and continues to make new generations of people tap their feet and smile. He has been paid, and continues to be paid, exorbitant amounts of money for these songs that he wrote. There are millions of people who would LOVE to be in his shoes. His fame gives him an awesome forum to exhibit his new material. But if the crowd is not impressed, tough shit, that is showbiz. Having a bad attitude about playing your hit songs, no matter how long ago you recorded them, is, as far as I am concerned, akin to looking a gift horse in the mouth.
If you don't want to play those songs anymore then don't. But then you have to stop charging people $350 to see you play. With prices like that, you have an onus, an obligation, nay...a moral imperative...to play those songs and to do it with a fucking smile on your face. You have been given something most people can only dream about. If you want people to appreciate your new music then stop playing those songs, charge a $10 dollar fee and play at a small lounge making people fully aware you have no intent to play your hits. Until then, your new songs will continue to quiver in the shadow of your truly excellent early hits.
That is my rant and if that doesn't convince you then how about this:
I was reading a recent issue of Rolling Stone magazine and it had an article about a company called "Web Sheriff" that artists can hire to police the internet for unlawful uses of their music and/or likeness. Musicians ranging from Animal Collective to Prince, and of course our friend Van, have hired the company to help them protect their intellectual property. Animal collective apparently asked them to shut down links to pre-release download sites of their most recent album (very reasonable) while Van had his two biggest fan-sites shut down for photos and lyrics, content that, as Rolling Stone printed, they have "no legal basis for demanding the sites remove" (so says copyright experts).
Way to appreciate the people who made you what you are Van "Douche Bag" Morrison!
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