St. Patrick's day is a wonderful holiday isn't it? It's a special time of year when people of all nations come together and drink themselves silly. This year I got to spend my St. Paddy's day in Kyoto drinking $10 dollar Guinnesses! At least the bar had the proper Guinness pouring certificates, otherwise I would have continued to drink the pricey brew, but with a bad attitude.
We were able to track down the locations of two Irish pubs in Kyoto and thought it would be fun to spend evening in proper fashion. The 2nd bar was full of westerners who were all in Japan teaching english and they too had the idea to come get proper drunk, properly.
After talking to two lovely lasses who both politely (or not) escaped my company, we followed a man by the name of Giblets to a swinging, rocking, rolling bar called "Ing" (duh!) where the festivities continued. At this point I had imbibed the necessary amount of fermented beverages to enter "dance mode". After a few very tall Sopporos we, on the advice of another westerner, headed to another bar called "Bar Moon Walk". It was not too long after exiting the Ing bar that I realized I had no desire to go to another bar. I had drank myself drunk and few things sounded more appealing to me than finding a warm soft spot to curl into the fetal position in.
I declined the drinks offered to me at bar moon walk and desperately tried to follow the story of the guy sitting next to me. That is just about the time I was puked on...
Having had enough, I told everyone that I was leaving and that they should remain here and have a good time. I walked back to the hostel. On the way home a man approached me and asked if I wanted any oral sex. I smiled and politely declined the offer, chuckling to myself.
It was now around 5 am and I was in the elevator with this old guy named Bruce. We exchanged pleasantries, and while I didn't think anything of it at the time, it was probably pretty clear that I had knocked back a few. Who cares right? I got into my bed and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.
God only knows how much time had passed when the rest of my party stumbled in making enough noise to wake the entire hostel out of a coma. Sure they were drunk, but this was ridiculous. Any comments I had about it were immediately turned around on me, especially when I said, "Fuck the shut up!" in a half-awake slur. In hind sight, I probably would have made fun of myself too had I been there. There was a lot of frantic talking going on none of which I caught other than that somebody was missing an iphone. Since no one in my party had an iphone, it wasn't really any of my concern. I had one objective on my mind and that was getting back to sleep. Finally everyone got into their beds and went to sleep while I lay wide awake pissed off that I had been woken up from a pleasant slumber and now I was the one who couldn't fall back asleep. Eventually I drifted off to dream land.
AWAKE! We had to check out that morning and catch a train to Tokyo. I, being far more prepared than my comrades, had already finished packing when Bruce opens the door to our room, in which he was not staying, walks right up to me and says:
"Ok man hand it over!"
Looking at him blankly I replied, "Hand what over?"
"The iphone man, just hand it over"
"I don't know what you are talking about"
"I saw you in the elevator this morning at 5, just hand it over"
"Oh, so you are judge, jury and executioner now?"
Apparently to him seeing me at 5 am was irrefutable evidence that I was the culprit. Finally someone else in the room spoke up on my behalf, Bruce said "oh" and left. The guy whose iphone went missing came in shortly thereafter and apologized to me and Bruce later apologized to me outside saying that he felt like an asshole.
Well we left for Tokyo and as far as I know the iphone was not found, but who am I, Sherlock Holmes?
On a completely unrelated note, who wants to come over and try out my new iphone?
jk
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